July 8, 2025

The Coaching Blueprint: Conversations That Actually Change Behavior

Coaching isn’t about correcting—it’s about creating conversations that actually lead to change. In this episode, Junior and Tim introduce the BIG Coaching Model—Behavior, Impact, and Guidance—a practical framework for leaders who want to move beyond surface-level feedback and build true accountability.

The Coaching Blueprint: Conversations That Actually Change Behavior
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Episode Notes

Coaching isn’t about correcting—it’s about creating conversations that actually lead to change. In this episode, Junior and Tim introduce the BIG Coaching Model—Behavior, Impact, and Guidance—a practical framework for leaders who want to move beyond surface-level feedback and build true accountability. They explore how to spark self-awareness, connect actions to outcomes, and guide without overreaching. This is the coaching blueprint for leaders who want to stop micromanaging and start empowering, one conversation at a time.

Episode Transcript

00;00;02;26 Junior: Let me share a moment that almost all of you will face. You're working. You're on a team, and you notice that something's off with someone. Either tactically, strategically, emotionally, culturally. You notice it. Other people on your team notice it, but they don't or they don't want to. And if they do, they really aren't going to do anything about it.

00;00;28;23 Junior: So what do you do? The temptation is to launch into a lecture immediately, to tell, to scold, to try to correct. But you notice over time, as you probably have, if you've been in this situation, that almost nothing changes ever. The pattern continues. And what was culturally, tactically, strategically off will continue to remain off for the foreseeable future.

00;00;52;13 Junior: So what do we do? We have to intervene, but there has to be a new sort of strategy. And that's what we're going to be talking about today. So in the next 30 minutes or so, 30 minutes, if our producers have anything to say about it. Two hours if I do.

00;01;05;19 Tim Yeah.

00;01;06;27 Junior: We're going to go over the big coaching model. This is one of my favorite managerial interventions or frames by which to look at coaching. It's a really neat one and I hope that you find value. So Tim today what do you what are you thinking about? What's top of mind as we launch into big coaching?

00;01;22;21 Tim: I love this topic. I think it's relevant to all of us. It makes me think about the coaches that I've had, formal or informal coaches that I've had that have, really helped me along the way, made key contributions to my growth and development, helped me become better. It I was thinking of, I love this statement by Emily Dickinson.

00;01;52;14 Tim: I'm out with lanterns looking for myself, and I kept thinking about that statement this week, and I thought, okay, well, what are the lanterns? Who are the lanterns? You need lanterns, typically, or I yeah, I would say that most of the time the lanterns are your coaches. They're the people that can actually give you helpful guidance along the way.

00;02;20;20 Tim: So I'm out with lanterns looking for myself. Your coaches are your lanterns. That's. That's the way I've been thinking about it this week. We all need good coaches to help us along the way. Yeah.

00;02;33;18 Junior: It's funny that you mention that. I was reading a book, last night by. I too will go on day. I don't know if that's how you say his name, but it's on being mortal. He's talking about Emily Dickinson, how she stayed in her childhood home, caring for her aging parents for so many years. And so I have wonder, this is so this is maybe a little bit off topic, but I wonder how many lanterns she really had.

00;02;55;00 Junior: She became more and more reclusive as the years went on, and I wonder if some of the the difficulty. I won't want to say misery, but of Emily Dickinson's life is attributable to not having as many lanterns as she might have had.

00;03;08;05 Tim: That's a very interesting question. Okay.

00;03;10;12 Junior: Let's get into the situation as a leader. You have responsibility to meet certain objectives. And one of the first things we have to acknowledge is that you can't do it by yourself. Business is not a solo pursuit. 99 times out of 100 you have to have a team. It is. You have to have bought other people with complementary skills working toward the same objective.

00;03;35;28 Junior: So that's the first bridge we have to cross. If any of this is going to make sense, is you cannot do it by yourself. A lot of people seem to not understand that very well, though.

00;03;46;01 Tim: That's true. They kind of think or they they act as if it's a solo sport, as if you can fly solo. But that doesn't work. The interdependencies are everywhere.

00;03;57;15 Junior: So if you're a leader and you have direct reports, then the responsibility to meet the goal is your responsibility. But if we acknowledge that we can't do it ourselves, then it then becomes your responsibility to help your team accomplish the goal. Most of you, if you're managing a team of people, you're going to run into some difficulty. You're maybe not going to achieve the results that you would like every single time.

00;04;24;16 Junior: Maybe you're not meeting the objectives currently, so you have to do something about it. And that's part of what we're talking about today, is how do you develop your people in a strategic linear. I guess it's iterative, but one cycle is linear. How do you do that in an emotionally intelligent, structured way such that your people respond? You build good rapport, and you're able to do this consistently over time to eventually meet the objectives.

00;04;49;29 Junior: You have to get good at this. The ability to meet your objectives over time is not going to be dictated by your personal technical skill. That's something you're going to have to get over. It's going to be dictated by your ability to coach others to help them achieve the results in front of you.

00;05;06;13 Tim: That's hard for a lot of us to to, I guess, fully accept because junior, for so much of our lives, our success is based on our personal performance. And that's what people look at. That's what people measure. That's what people care about. That's what people recognize. And now I'm in a different kind of world where I'm contributing indirectly through others.

00;05;32;18 Tim: And it's just completely different. Right now it's about the team. Now it's about my success being measured by the success of my team. So it's it's a it's a different world.

00;05;46;01 Junior: You used to have complete control. Well, hopefully a lot of control over yourself. But when you're given direct reports now, you can't impose your will on your direct reports the way that you might your own self. And so what? What are you left with? That brings us to the first slide. You can't guarantee growth, but you can guarantee the conditions for it.

00;06;07;05 Junior: So as a leader, what do you have responsibility of conditions. Tell me a little bit about that.

00;06;14;08 Tim: Well, yeah. Your job is to nurture, to foster conditions for personal growth and development. And you can do that. You do have control over that in terms of the way that you allocate work, give assignments, delegate, coach people, guide people, inspire people, direct people. You can do that. They're responsible to respond. Yeah, but you are responsible to put those conditions in place and that is forever your job.

00;06;43;10 Tim: Yeah. So the distinction is critical, but it's also empowering if you're a leader because you realize, no, I do have power to put those conditions for growth in place. So those are the inputs. I don't have

complete control over the outputs because now it becomes interdependent. Now we rely on the members of the team. But I can't do my part.

00;07;06;13 Junior: There's an analogy that I've been thinking about in terms of conditions to try and help people understand this, and conditions can be a hard thing to help people understand when we're talking about culture and psych safety and reward and vulnerability. But let's say that you're a farmer and you have a plant that's not growing well. The farmer is not going to yell at the plant.

00;07;28;01 Junior: The farmer is going to look at the soil, the farmer is going to look at the environment and the conditions. And so the plant is just the result of the conditions. If it's doing well and thriving, the conditions are probably good. If it's not, there's probably a root cause, no pun intended, that you need to look at in order to alter that.

00;07;45;10 Junior: So that you can get a better outcome. That's right. So let's talk about the preconditions for effective coaching. These are important to go over. The first one a personal relationship. If you don't have a personal relationship with the person across from you, you're gonna have a really hard time being an effective coach. And I think the best way to stress test this is to inquire of the audience.

00;08;07;00 Junior: If you've ever had a really, really good coach, one that you admire.

One that was useful to you, one that helped you progress, that you didn't have a good relationship with? Probably not going to have any. I can't think of any.

00;08;18;15 Tim: I can't think of any.

00;08;19;27 Junior: And then number two, credibility as a as a reliable model. You probably also don't have examples of a really good coach that wasn't a credible coach. Right. That's very true. They probably either did the thing or have credibility helping other people do their thing. And if you don't have that, you're going to have a hard time. There's a stat that I found from a 2024 HBR article.

00;08;45;02 Junior: 89% of managers admit they correct before they connect. Oh 89%, yeah.

It's like, well, we'll throw the personal relationship to the wayside.

We're not gonna worry about that, and we're just going to move into the intervention immediately. It's not a recipe for success.

00;08;59;03 Tim: No it's not.

00;08;59;23 Junior: I've tried it.

00;09;00;17 Tim: Well, we just have to remind ourselves, junior, that we're relational.

Social creatures. Connect first, but connect before you coach.

00;09;11;19 Junior: Yeah. So here's the common pattern. Tell to diagnose. We have a diagnosis. And so then what do we do? We come back and we tell. We say hey, there was a result that I saw. That's undesirable. It's not what we want. And so I'm just going to go and tell the person I'm one. I didn't like what happened.

00;09;37;14 Junior: And two, I didn't like what you did about it. And don't do it again. How often have you heard that.

00;09;43;00 Tim: Well if you do that it happens all the time junior. But think about, think about the setting. Think about the situation. Think about what's happening. The person that you're telling, the person that you're sharing the diagnosis with, they are what are they doing. They're a passive observer. Almost okay. Maybe they're a recipient of your information, but you're telling and they're receiving.

00;10;05;16 Tim: They are passive and you're expecting them. What are you expecting them? Are you expecting them to willingly, gladly, enthusiastically receive your feedback and say, that's fantastic. Thank you so much. I will go correct that right now. That almost never happens. So let's go back to the premise of coaching, right. The coaching paradigm junior that we use for coaching, an accountability matrix.

00;10;37;23 Tim: The coaching paradigm rests on two assumptions. Number one, most of the solutions reside within the person that you're coaching. You didn't even try to do that. You didn't even try to use inquiry and to draw out those solutions. Number two, the second assumption upon which the coaching paradigm rests is that your job is to transfer critical thinking and ownership to the individual being coached.

00;11;12;25 Tim: So if you rush right in, you do a diagnosis and you rush right in and you telltale tell you have is essentially blown up the coaching paradigm, the rests on those two assumptions. What kind of success can you possibly expect? Maybe in in a rare instance, there will be an individual that, in spite of your approach, will say, thank you so very much.

00;11;41;03 Tim: I'm going to go act on that right away, and I'm going to to correct that. But that almost never happens.

00;11;49;03 Junior: No. But how do we find ourselves in that situation? The organization has cultural goals. It has competitive goals. And then you have humans. Those humans are not always going to behave in a way that's aligned culturally and competitively with what the organization's trying to do. And so when there's dissonance and that can happen for a variety of reasons, it could be an effort issue.

00;12;09;22 Junior: It could be a cognitive bias. It could be, you know, some lapse in judgment. There are a million things that could go wrong. But when those million things go wrong, that's what creates this problem is we see the thing go wrong, we diagnose it, and then we tell them about it, and then the problem perpetuates, right? What are we skipping when we go?

00;12;28;28 Junior: Just to tell we're skipping ownership. We're not having a conversation. We're not creating emotional buy in and we're not inciting self-awareness. Those are all the things that have to happen in order to get a change. On the other side, that's durable. You might get some compliance for two minutes if you just yell at somebody and say, hey, this is not the way we do it here.

00;12;52;01 Junior: I need you to go do this. You won't build the muscle and the coaching cadence that will allow you to do that in the future. When the next thing comes up.

00;13;00;29 Tim: Yeah, I want to make another distinction, though, because I see two groups of managers that are that use this really failed approach. The first group, it's no surprise it's the managers that use fear and intimidation, right? It's command and control. And so they are controlling the situation. They are muscling. They are inducing in fear. Okay. No surprise. That's been with us a long time.

00;13;34;25 Tim: But here's the other camp. The other camp of leaders are people who are well-intentioned, benevolent, paternalistic leaders and managers. They love their people. They want their people to succeed. They want them to grow. But they still use the same approach. They become very paternalistic. They are telling. They are turning their direct reports into passive observers, and yet their intent is good.

00;14;12;16 Tim: So we need we need the right intent, but we also need the right approach. You got to put the two together.

00;14;20;01 Junior: Here's the right approach. The right approach is the big coaching model. The big coaching model is an acronym stands for behavior impact and guidance. These are the steps that we're going to follow in a coaching intervention to help someone go from problem state to hopefully resolution long term buy in and the durable change. If we come down to this next slide, you'll see a little bit about what I mean.

00;14;45;27 Junior: Inside behavior. We're trying to help the person take ownership for what happened. We're trying to understand what happened. What did you do. You look at these behavior the questions what's going on? What happened? How did you handle it? How do you react? Impact. What worked? What didn't work? How did people react? Guidance. What were your assumptions? Why did you do that?

00;15;06;22 Junior: What's the next step? So this overarching model will give you a flavor of what's to come. We're going to go into each of the three steps individually. Break them apart. Help you understand how to apply them in your own context. And then we'll move to each one. B is for behavior the goal inside behavior. This is the first step is to make the invisible visible.

00;15;32;23 Junior: What does this mean?

00;15;33;27 Tim: This means that you're elevating self-awareness. This means that you are trying to help the person understand what they're doing, why they're doing it, why, and to reflect on that, especially if it's a pattern.

00;15;50;10 Junior: It's all about awareness behavior. This step is all about awareness and one of the principles of awareness is that awareness precedes correction. How many times have you or someone you know, changed something, resolved something without knowing that they needed to do that in the first place? Without awareness, you just start by accident. Yeah. You don't.

00;16;13;18 Tim: But then you don't. You can't repeat it.

00;16;15;24 Junior: No you don't. So if you weren't aware of the thing, it's going to be really difficult to correct the thing. So that's why our goal here is to make the invisible visible. Now we do that through inquiry. Why wouldn't we do it by just telling them, as is often the pattern with managers.

00;16;32;17 Tim: They have to come to that conclusion, junior. And then that taps that, then that, that allows them to continue to the root cause analysis in their own minds to understand why they're doing it. How did they get to that behavior? What happened? They have to trace it to its origins. Yeah.

00;16;53;06 Junior: I like the the Alcoholics Anonymous example of acknowledging that you have a problem. Like, why is that? The first step? Right. Right. If we don't make it that far, 11 more steps are not going to matter. I was in, a course recently for Precision Rifle, so shooting for sport. And I was in Arizona at a desert range.

00;17;21;16 Junior: Really wide open, and we're shooting really long distances, really high caliber rifles. And there was a target that was probably 1500 meters out there. It's a long way. This is long range and there's a lot of math involved there, a lot of interesting things happening. I won't go into the details I would like to, but I want the long story short is that I missed one of these targets, and the instructor asked me where you stable and stability is paramount when you're shooting distances like that.

00;17;57;05 Junior: If you're not stable, it's highly unlikely that you're going to hit what you're aiming at. That stability is attributable to your stance, where your rifle is, how it's set up. And I said, yes, I was stable, I was stable, and he said, where are you really? I said, yeah, and he said, well, check this out. And he had videoed me.

00;18;17;13 Junior: Oh, right. And sure enough, I watched the video back and I wasn't stable. I was in a poor position, and I was trying to force a position that really wasn't working. Instead of taking the time to come back out, reestablish and get into a good position. And it was an interesting example to me of the awareness preceding the correction, because if he would have just yelled at me and said, hey, you're not stable, like get stable, like I think I am, like, what are you?

00;18;48;04 Tim: What are you saying? There would be a tendency to resist that for sure.

00;18;51;15 Junior: You get defensive. Yeah, like I am, right. But when he said first, he asked, right? So he knew where I was at. Oh, this guy thinks he's doing it right. Well, okay. Well, he actually took.

00;19;01;03 Tim: The right approach.

00;19;01;21 Junior: Yeah. And let's give him some evidence. Right. Just just a replay. And it was completely well intentioned. Right. And I sure enough I look at that and I said, okay, great. Well now I'm aware now we can proceed to the correction. Now we're getting somewhere. But if we don't start there, we're not going to make any progress.

00;19;20;00 Tim: It's a good point.

00;19;20;27 Junior: So how often do we do this? When do we intervene? This is a question that I've heard recently from a few different people, is I'm seeing a thing that I think might be an issue with one of my people. At what point do I jump in and say something? And I want to make, frequency and severity point.

00;19;44;00 Junior: If it's high frequency, low severity, I give it three times as a rule of thumb. I want to have a pattern that I can look to in a hopefully a documented way and say, hey, I'd seen this pattern, but on the severity side, you don't need to wait for high frequency if you have high severity.

00;20;05;04 Tim: Maybe once.

00;20;07;00 Junior: Immediately, right? Depending on the situation, you don't want to wait until they roll the car to say, hey, you know, you maybe you should have done this a little bit differently.

00;20;20;12 Tim: Take the curve a little slower.

00;20;22;04 Junior: Take the wheel. Sometimes you have to literally reach across and grab the wheel so that we're okay. So the severity and the frequency, if you think about those two things as variables in the situation that you're dealing with, that will help you understand when to jump in or not. If it's low frequency, low severity and you just jump on it.

00;20;45;15 Junior: It's really easy for the person on the other side to dismiss. So like

I said, this is not a pattern and it's not a big deal. Like what are we talking about. And so you got to be careful with those. Okay. Let's move into the next one which is impact. Connect the dots. Your behavior creates ripple effects. And some of those ripple effects are obvious.

00;21;04;12 Junior: Some of them are not in. Our goal is to help people understand that what we got awareness of in the behavior level led to something.

00;21;12;18 Tim: That's right.

00;21;13;08 Junior: And we're trying to connect those two things. How do we do that?

00;21;18;14 Tim: Well the behavior is the independent variable. It is the original cause. At least that's what we're assuming. And then from there there's a cause and effect chain. Right. And we get into consequences and consequence causes continue to fan out as you say. They can reverberate. They can move into first order, second order third, or they can keep on going.

00;21;44;08 Tim: The point here is to help the person begin to understand the cause and effect relationships. What happens as a result of your behavior? Can you trace cause and effect? Can you see evidence of the impact of your behavior? What happened? What did you see as a result of that? What were the consequences? This is where you have to, as you say, connect the dots.

00;22;15;28 Tim: Let's start putting cause and effect relationships together.

00;22;20;15 Junior: Here's something from Gallup. Employees who grasp the impact of their actions are two and a half times more likely to change behavior than those given solution. Only feedback. That's an interesting finding. It is two and a half times more likely. That's a lot.

00;22;36;02 Tim: That's a lot.

00;22;37;04 Junior: So if you give solution only feedback which comes through just telling, you have a very small chance of getting the result that you want, especially if you're trying to build skill in the person on the other side. And the time horizon is something that we don't think enough about. It's okay in the short term. If you have some sort of immediate intervention in your telling, maybe you solve the problem and maybe that takes you two minutes.

00;23;03;26 Junior: But do you want to build the capacity in the person across from you to solve the next problem by themselves, or to avoid it in the first place? If you're trying to solve for the longer term, you have to take the time to approach it this way or you're going to waste eventual time because you're just going to go back to that every time, and you're going to be telling and giving solutions and giving solutions, and you're not going to see progress.

00;23;27;06 Tim: Let me give you an example JR. So I remember, an executive that I worked with, really a wonderful gentleman, but a kind of a domineering personality. And so he would go into a room and take over a meeting.

He would commandeer the meeting, and he would interrupt. He would interrupt very frequently. So as a coach, I could go to him and I could say, Keith, you are interrupting your common during the meeting, and you need to stop doing that.

00;24;05;21 Tim: That's not the right way to go. Or we could follow the big coaching model. And we when we come to impact, I could say Keith. We've already been through the B, so he understands his behavior. But then I ask him, Keith, what is the impact? What are you seeing as the effect of that behavior when you interrupt?

00;24;34;16 Tim: What happens? Can you see what's happening happening behaviorally with the other people in the room? Then he begins to process. And I think,

JR when you get to I for impact, this is where you help the person process both the cognition and the affect start coming together. So I'm understanding I'm beginning to see cause and effect relationships. But in terms of affect or emotion, I'm I'm absorbing that.

00;25;08;11 Tim: Right? I'm I'm absorbing that cause and effect relationship. And I'm seeing the adverse impact on other human beings. And when I absorb that, if I am a feeling, caring human being, I'm going to say to myself, oh, that's not what I want to happen. I really, I of my own accord, my own volition. That's not what I want.

00;25;38;13 Tim: I can see that that's a negative adverse consequence, that it's having a negative effect on my colleagues. And I care about my colleagues. I don't want to do that. And so now I'm self diagnosing when I see the AI and you see the cognition and the affect coming together, the thinking brain and the feeling brain are working in tandem.

00;26;01;06 Tim: That's what we want to have happen. But you can't do it for them.

That's what we're saying. This is not the coach's job to do that for them. They have to do it.

00;26;09;19 Junior: It's why you got to lead with inquiry. If we go to the questions underneath impact, you'll see some of the ones that Tim alluded to. This one is great. Are these the results you wanted?

00;26;21;13 Tim Yeah.

00;26;22;07 Junior: Yeah I love that question. Are these the results that you were after?

Well, no. Okay. What results were you after? And then what's the problem? Right. What are the consequences? How do people feel? What do people think? What did you learn? How did you feel about it? These are wonderful questions that help people trace impact.

00;26;44;28 Tim: So what's happening, junior, as you're asking these questions, is it's almost like two strands of thread and the one is the critical thinking and the other is the ownership. And they start weaving together. And that's when. That's when we get some incredible results.

00;27;05;22 Junior: Well, it's when it becomes synergistic between you and the coach because you get better leverage, because you don't have to spend as much time and energy and they become more skilled. It's better for everyone. It is. So it takes a little bit of time up front, but if you follow the formula, you're going to get good results. So let's go to the G.

00;27;22;25 Junior: What is the G in big. The G and big is guidance. The goal here is to transfer ownership. So to your point about weaving those strands, we have to do this at the same time. If we're taking ownership for the results for the person that's not going to work. We have to help them do it. Of their own accord.

00;27;45;20 Junior: So how how could we do this poorly? Maybe we ask that question. How could we guarantee failure by not transferring ownership? What might we do? What does that behavior look like?

00;27;57;08 Tim: I think this one's pretty obvious, junior. You jump in and you give the guidance. And this is what we're not trying to do. Yes, we need guidance, but where does the guidance come from? Let's go back to one of the key assumptions for the coaching paradigm. Most solutions reside within the person being coached. So you're trying to help them find the solution and give themselves the guidance that is required in this situation.

00;28;29;17 Tim: We don't want it to come from you if at all possible. That's that's that's not what we're looking for. And when you when when you draw them out, when they come to their own conclusions, when they can see what they need to do, that's when ownership really transfers. And that's when we get a durable solution.

00;28;46;18 Junior: So I fall into this trap really often. Yesterday, someone in my personal network, a young man, reached out and had some questions about college and career. And what I found, I literally said this in our conversation. I walked it back literally in our conversation. He had posed some question and I said, here's what I do. And then I say.

00;29;09;07 Tim: To yourself.

00;29;10;03 Junior: I caught myself. And I said, I'm not going to tell you what I would do. Let's talk about what you might do now. Because it's so easy for me in that scenario. Like, I can see the forest from the trees and it seems obvious to me what I would do. Do this right. You're telling me that these are the goals, these are the aspirations, and we're, you know, trying to massage the situation to get this result, this right.

00;29;41;26 Junior: And I just and for a variety of reasons, one, because I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. And I feel confident that my proposition would work. So it's coming from a place of good intent. Two I'm ready to be done and move on to the next task. So let me just give it to you because I can't be here.

00;30;00;01 Tim: So many incentives to jump in.

00;30;01;24 Junior: Oh my gosh. And so you can see how we fall into that as managers, even if we're well intentioned. And it takes some real discipline to hold back and try to transfer that to the other person. What what do you think? Okay. What do you think would happen? Okay. And work it.

00;30;20;15 Tim: Down to jump in.

00;30;21;23 Junior: Dying and dying. This is so hard for me. So we go back to the guidance questions. What needs to happen now? I love this one. That's one of my. My favorite. What surprised you? What's the next step? What will you do in the future? How will you hold yourself accountable? Those are the types of questions that help the person do the guidance for themselves.

00;30;50;06 Junior: Here are some other questions. How will you know it worked? How can I support you without doing it for you?

00;30;56;10 Tim: Oh, what a beautiful question.

00;30;58;18 Junior: How will you hold yourself to that? And then don't fill the space. Let silence just be there. And let them do the work.

00;31;11;02 Tim Not easy.

00;31;12;04 Junior: No, it's not easy, I think.

00;31;14;25 Tim: So you can see from all of this, junior that great coaching requires quite a bit of discipline, quite a bit of practice, and quite a bit of real time awareness so that you don't jump in and say, well, here's what I would do.

00;31;32;13 Junior: Yeah. What happens if we skip steps? I like looking at the failure patterns. If we don't get to behavior, what are we doing? We're coaching a phantom. We're coaching a version of the person that doesn't exist. If they don't acknowledge reality for what it is, then you're coaching someone who you think is in reality, but is in a different reality, and maybe theirs is more closely aligned.

00;31;58;22 Junior: If you find yourself doing this all the time, but that's an important point. If you don't make it there, you're not actually coaching the real person with the real issue. You're coaching a figment of your imagination that you think is going to take your feedback and run with it.

00;32;12;27 Tim: And that may stroke the ego.

00;32;14;29 - 00;32;15;20 Junior Yeah.

00;32;15;23 Tim: If you jump in that way.

00;32;16;26 Junior: And it might take a lot less time, it probably will take less time, but it won't solve the problem. If you skip impact and they don't see a reason to change. Like yeah, I acknowledge the behavior, but they're not connecting the dots to the consequence. I'm not seeing the result. Yeah. Well, then we have a problem. There's not going to be motivation.

00;32;37;14 Junior: You're not going to see the causal effect and that will break. Then in guidance, if we skip guidance what's happening? You become the crutch. You become the solution. And we don't want that because then we breed learned helplessness in the person on the other side. If I would have jumped right in and followed through with my suggestion and advice to this young man, less likely that he goes and figures it out for himself, more likely that he comes and asks me the next question.

00;33;10;25 Junior: And we get into that cycle of he's asking and I'm answering. And then

I feel like I have to give answers. And so I do. And maybe they're not good ones. And we get into this cycle. Okay, let's wrap up. What does the big coaching model help you do? See behavior clearly. Understand impact. Honestly, and transfer guidance responsibly.

00;33;37;01 Junior: Those are the three things that we need to do. So back to the original setup. If you're on a team and something's happening that's not culturally or competitively aligned with the organization, it's your responsibility to jump in, as we said, because it's a team effort. It's your job. How do you do that? Three steps behavior impact and guidance.

00;34;00;12 Junior: You're going to do that through inquiry using all of the questions that we talked about in each of those categories for big. What's on your mind as we wrap up?

00;34;07;09 Tim: Tim Junior I started with the the Dickinson statement, I'm out with lanterns looking for myself. But I think what we've established through this conversation is that, yes, we do need lanterns. We need good coaches. But the caveat is we need people want and need to answer their own questions and solve their own problems, and they need to come to their own durable solutions.

00;34;35;18 Tim: And most of the time, as I've said twice already, those solutions reside within them. We've got to draw those out.

00;34;44;28 Junior: If I were to say just one thing to wrap up, if you don't remember anything from this episode, it would just be to ask more questions. I keep coming back to that, and a lot of the episodes that we do is asking questions, helps transfer all of the things we're trying to transfer. And the opposite is true. If you just tell you're taking away the autonomy of the other person, you're assuming competence.

00;35;08;04 Junior: You're assuming knowledge. And that may not be a good assumption. So we hope that this was valuable for you. If it was, please leave us a like, subscribe and share with a friend. If you think that there's someone who might find value in this content, be sure to send them a link with that. We will see you in the next episode.

00;35;26;28 Junior: Take care everybody. Bye bye.

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